Mom’s Medical Maladies ~ Just for fun

I found this in the “Parenting: Early Years” April 2011 edition.  Thought it was cute.

1.) Congestive Art Failure: The inability to find room for one more cross-eyed portrait of Daddy on the fridge.

2.) Sexzema: The way your skin crawls when your husband tries to cop a feel after you’ve spent a long day with a whiny, clingy kid

3.) Mallergies: Severe aversion to large shopping centers after enduring multiple $80 detours into Build-a-Badger (not sure what this is)

4.) Damnesia: Disorientation at hearing your child use a bad word, until you remember he heard you use it first.

5.) “My”graine: Throbbing headache after a two-hour playdate refereeing fights over a single toy ina chock-full basement

6.) Hymnsomnia: sleeplessness due to anxiety over how one’s offspring will behave in church

7.) Manopause: Overwhelming need for a girls’ night own following an afternoon of baseball widowhood

8.) Gum Dis-ease: Anxious monitoring of kindergartner enjoying a chiclet, wondering if it’ll end up on your sofa or in her windpipe

9.) Gastrointerestitis: excessive focus on teh contents of a sick toddler’s diaper

10.) Carpool tunnel Syndrome: Sensation of spending one’s days endlessly shuttling rowdy kids to tumble classes and playdates.

I dont think they fit everyone but I think everyone can giggle at one or two of them and relate 🙂

Have a nice day!


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